Woman often write to
me with questions about dancing- here are some of them:
What is the best
way to learn to dance are there any videos that would show me
the techniques or different styles of dancing? I was wondering
if I should take a private dancing class or if just plain dancing
will get me by.
Dancing is something
really best picked up on the job. I've never seen a girl really
have a problem. If you're really worried once you're hired try
showing up early before the club opens to practice.
Do you strip away from
where you go to school and live? I am like you and do not wish to
have anyone know I am stripping either. I live on the border of
Mass. so I could easily go there for a job.
New York's a pretty
big city and most of my classmates couldn't afford to go to my
club so I'm pretty safe. A lot of our girls live in other states
and commute into NYC to work on weekends.
I really want to be
a dancer but I've really small breasts. It's kind of embarrassing-
do you think I can still be a dancer?
Don't worry about your
chest. I've worked with lots of girls who are totally flat. Different
guys like different types of girls, many men prefer a more athletic
figure. If it really bothers you just go get them done. But do
it because it will make you feel better about your body not because
you care what people think. Too many girls go through life hating
their bodies and there's really no reason for it. A properly done
augmentation cannot be told from the real thing and it makes clothes
fit SO much better. Girls with implants tend to make more money
but there's nothing to say you can earn a good living without
them. Don't worry about it and don't buy boobs unless you really
want them- I'm sure you look great just the way you are;) If your
body embarrasses you, you will not enjoy being a dancer. Keep
in mind when your dancing that every single guy in the room would
saw off his right arm for the opportunity to spend the night with
you so they're hardly going to insult you to your face. That's
the nice thing about stripping- men who wouldn't look at you twice
if you were walking down the street drool all over when your on
I keep getting turned
down on auditions- what am I doing wrong?
I'm really surprised
you're having so much trouble. Clubs are always desperate for
dancers. They don't generally pay salaries and the more girls
they have the more customers they get. It's really a win win situation
for them so they have to have a very good reason to turn a girl
down. It's generally because she's carrying a little to much baggage.
Remember aside from boobs, low body fat is the name of the game.
Flat chest, plain face,short legs- no problem, but if you're carrying
even a little extra in the butt and thighs they won't hire you.
I'm very sorry, I don't mean to be insulting and I may be totally
off base but this is what keeps most girls from getting hired.
You said that you earn
$600 to $800 a night. I just started dancing 2 weeks ago and still
haven't made more the $150 a night. What am I doing wrong?
It depends a lot on
what city you're working in and 2 weeks is still fairly new. When
I started it took me about a month before I started really making
money. Those first few weeks were so depressing- a couple of times
I only made cab fare home! If I were you I'd try to get a feel
for what the other girls are making. If they've been there a year
and are still making only $300 a night then perhaps you should
look for a better club.
I really want to be
a dancer and my boyfriend says he's ok with it but do you think
that he will really be able to handle what I am doing?
Most boyfriends are
okay with it for the first few weeks. Then jealousy can start
to set in. They imagine you're doing all sorts of things at the
club at night when they're at home. Or if his friends find out
they can try and get him worked up- they say things like "man,
how could you stand to have other men looking at your girl like
that, I'd never let my girl do that" This can start to build
up and eventually leads to a big fight during which all his suspicions
come out and it gets pretty ugly. BUT DON'T WORRY! It doesn't
necessarily have to go that way. It really depends on how secure
the guy is- him having a little bit of an ego doesn't hurt either.
But keep in mind it does take work- most dancers are single.
Does it matter if your
body is not perfect? Mine is fine but I wouldn't call it spectacular.
Do you think the men in the club will notice and find me unattractive?
No it doesn't matter.
Women come in all shapes and sizes and men know that. Men come
to strip clubs to enjoy woman- not complain about them. Things
may be different elsewhere but I have never heard a customer in
my club express displeasure at a woman's body. That's one of the
big features of the job- all those guys worshiping the ground
you walk on. But keep in mind though that the better you look
the more money you will make. Diet, make-up, exercise and yes
sometimes surgery can turn any girl into a hotty. If you are determined
enough there is no reason your body can't be spectacular.
You mentioned that it's fine to do girl-on-girl shows. What do
you do to make it look real and entertaining? I've never done that
before but the part that I am most nervous about is one on one with
a strange person. Do you think that they require it, how far do
you have to go?(I think I'd be fun but I'm a bit nervous).
Remember you don't
"have" to do anything! This is very important. Lots
of new girls get taken advantage of. A customer will say something
like "well the other dancers let me touch their crotches"
and the girl feels like she has to allow it otherwise she won't
get customers. Remember you don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable
with and if the management tells you differently leave and go
to a better club. Girl-on-girl shows are always at the dancers
discretion. That being said you're not going to be thrown into
a 2 girl show on your first night. Watch the other girls see how
far they go, what they do. When the time comes find a dancer you're
friendly with and discuss it. As I said before it's lots of fun.
And it doesn't mean you're a hard core lesbian or anything- just
a girl having a little fun. Anyway, not every club has girl-girl
Do you have the same
choreographed dance you do all the time, or do you have different
styles of dance for different songs?
It's pretty free flowing,
I move from one routine to the next at will. It would get pretty
boring if I did the same thing every night. You just go with the
music. A good DJ helps.
Do you do lap dancing?
And if you do, do you find it demeaning, or would you say it's a
good way to make more money?
I don't lap dance (that
and touching aren't allowed at my club) I think I prefer it that
way. A lot of girls think they'll make more money working at a
club that allows lap dances but that's generally not the case.
Some girls prefer it though- in some ways it's easier. Dancers
at "gown" clubs have to stay in better shape. A guy
won't buy a dance from a chubby girl if she's not going to bump-and-grind.
It's a question of personal preference, if you find lap dancing
demeaning then don't do it.
I'm 5'10... do you
think I should wear the 4 inch heels, or do you think I'd be too
Go for the 4 inch.
The main purpose of heels is to flatten your stomach and lengthen
your legs, the height thing doesn't really matter. If you're worried,
a two piece dress or thigh high stockings will make you look shorter.
Just avoid standing next to the really small girls. I was once
dancing on stage with a beautiful dancer about your size but the
difference in our height made us both look bad. I looked like
a midget and she looked like a giant. Something to keep in mind...
I would like to become
a stripper and heard something about a "house fee" (something
about the strippers having to pay to strip? not sure) I was wondering
if you could let me know what that is exactly?
Most clubs charge a
house fee. Dancers love to complain about this but few of them
understand the economics behind it. House fee covers the cost
of dressing rooms, security, make-up artist etc. At my club house
fee it's $75 a night. Some clubs go as low as $20. At a club with
a higher house fee you will definitely be making more money so
don't use house fee amount as a criteria for choosing a club.
You should expect house fee to work out to between 10 and 20 percent
of your nightly earnings. Calculate it at the end of a month:
If in 1 month at 3
nights a week you made $6000.
Paid out $50 per night
in house fees. ($600)
That means your only
paying 10%. I consider up to 20% fair. If it were to go higher
then that for at least 2 months I'd think about changing clubs.
As far as tanning goes,
should I go for nude, topless, or wear what I would wear to work
so I can get the same lines. I know that having a tan looks better,
I am just wondering what to tan.
I rarely tan, maybe
once every month or 2 during the winter. Club lighting generally
smoothes out the tone of your skin. All the cigarette smoke in
the club is hell on your skin, it's like smoking two packs a day.
I've seen girls who've been dancing for 6 years who have faces
like a shoe. The last thing I want to do is dump more UV light
on it, it will make me look a little better now but how will I
look later? Keep in mind that the black lights at the club are
UV as well and you're under them all night long. So I keep it
to a minimum. I tan very little, with my work thong on and a towel
over my face. (This actually looks okay because your face is generally
darker then your body anyway) That way I hope to minimize the
I am a 29 year old
black female who is looking to break into stripping. Your web
page was extremely up front and interesting. You don't talk much
about minorities though. I was hoping to get a clear picture about
the financial breakdown of the different minorities
When I first started
I really expected ethnicity to play a larger part in dancing.
Believe it or not it seems to be remarkable small. Whether they
choose to admit it or not men like woman period. And they like
them in all shapes, sizes and colors. The only thing that really
takes getting used to is that the men tend to be somewhat tactless.
I get a lot of bowing or guys trying to talk to me in Japanese
or making take-out jokes. At first I got really pissed, after
a while I realized that most of these guys were actually decent
guys but had never talked to an Asian women before and were unsure
of how to act and what to say. Many of your customers will not
be Black. It's important to understand that they may not have
the same background as you. Some of their comments may seem insulting.
Like Asians, most people only know about Black people from what
they've seen on TV. So the short story is, expect some awkwardness
on the part of customers not of your ethnicity. Try to be understanding
but also don't be afraid gently correct them. Tactless is one
thing abuse is another.
As far as earning
differential I'd rather not comment too much on this. Too many
girls blame their lack of earnings on things like implants verses
natural, blond versus brunette, tall versus short etc. This is
neither accurate nor constructive. The determining factor in earnings
in a gown club is attitude and conversational skills. If I just
got off the boat from Korea and barely understood English or was
born and raised in BedStuy and had a thick Brooklyn accent, a
well heeled Wall street executive is not going to be able to comfortable
interacting with me. No interaction, no money.
Another thing that
is common is people of your own ethnicity feeling they can take
liberties with you because "they're your people". Asian
guys are always trying bargain with me on table dances or trying
to grope me because they think I'm Asian so it's okay. It can
also be a problem if I choose to sit with white or black customers
instead of a group of Asians. A lot of people have strong 'anti-mixing"
sentiment. This can be a problem.
I just turned 16
and am think of becoming a dancer. Will any clubs hire me?
I started dancing when
I was 18. Nowhere in the US is it legal for you to dance under
that age- even if you're able to your parents could go to jail
for neglect. In Canada you can start dancing at 16 but I really
wouldn't suggest it. Keep in mind dancing is a means to an end-
it makes a lousy career. When I was in high school many of my
friends had part time jobs to save for college. I think that their
studies suffered because of it. I was able to devote all my time
to studying as much as I could. When I was 18 and graduated high
school I had been accepted to some very good colleges. I started
dancing that summer. So when spring came and college started most
of my high school friends were starving their way through community
college; I had plenty of money and could afford to go to a very
good school and even afford to hire private tutors for difficult
subjects. This is really what dancing is great for. It enables
a girl to earn a good living while in college without having to
worry about loans or anything. I hate to sound like a typical
grownup but my advice is to put all your effort into school. That
way when you graduate you'll have the grades and the source of
income to go to law, medical school etc.
If you have any specific
questions that are not answered in the FAQ you can try Emailing
me. Please keep in mind I dance, go to school and run several
other Websites. There is a good chance I will not have the time
to answer. There are a few questions I cannot, or will not answer:
Any question already
answered on the site or asking "Can you tell me anything
I cannot help you with
advice on how to dance for your partner. This site is for women
looking to dance for a living,
I also will not answer
Emails asking for information on how to dance- I already addressed
this issue on the site.
I don't know anything
about male exotic dancing- if you're a guy I can't help you.
Questions along the
line of "Am I too (insert one: overweight, fat, scarred,
tattooed, short, tall etc). to be a dancer?" I cannot tell
you, different clubs hire different looking girls of different
ages. I don't know what the criteria for your local clubs are.
There is an easy way to figure out if you will be hired- go audition.
If you don't have the self confidence to go audition then you'll
be better off not dancing. Dancing, like many other trades has
physical requirements. I might want to be a firefighter but at
5 feet tall I wouldn't be a very good one. If you are overweight,
or age has given your face a good deal of character that does
not mean you are not beautiful, that just means that you are not
going to do very well as a dancer. It may not be fair but it is
reality. I know this seems harsh but often women who would just
not be happy or successful as dancers email me expecting unrealistic
answers to their questions. When they don't get them they get
very angry and take it out on me. No being suitable for dancing
is not a personality flaw and nothing to get upset about.
If your question isn't
any of the above or you would just like to comment on the page
feel free to email me.